Having a life style, or having a life

It's not as if I had planned to do anything, so doing nothing should not be a problem. It is though. I feel my weekends should be full of Fun. I spend the week working my arse off (just in case Boss falls across this) so I think my weekends should be spent doing all the things I want to do. Invariably, they are spent farting about, reading a book or two, visiting a cafe on Mill Road with a spot of hunter-gathering at Tesco thrown in for luck.

Why can't I have a life style? I used to. I went the gym and enjoyed it. No, really I did. It wasn't just that there were lots of twenty-something Lycra gym bunnies to watch - although that helped. I liked the whole experience from arriving in the car park, swapping chat with the receptionists, nodding to the guys in the changing rooms and all the effort I put my body through on the equipment. There was a sauna, steam room and a big whirlpool bath where I could chat with the guys afterwards. I used to cycle through woods. I used to visit bars. My time was filled, but my life was empty.

Once I met my Beloved, my life changed. None of that seemed necessary. I was a bit busy with travelling between our homes and even when I had time to sit in one place I didn't feel the need for anything else. I used to have a life style because I didn't have a life.

Now that I have a life, I need things to do. I feel at a bit of a loose end when the Beloved is working on Her book or playing the piano. My saxophone is so much louder and a lot less neighbour-friendly. I don't really go out much in the evenings. My friends all live in Oxford, London or further afield. I need to make some in Cambridge, I suppose. My Beloved mentioned something about that before Christmas.

I don't know. I like coming home, closing the door and sitting with a book, a glass of something and a cat on my lap. I have the love of my Beloved, a roof over my head and full larder. Nothing else seems necessary, except perhaps at about 2:30on a Saturday afternoon.