https://vr.shapeservices.com/play.php?hash=01871b668bd0cd91876924847bf4700ad2e484c739bdf2e21
This is a test of something which isn't quite as good as AudioBoo.
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Recorded on iPhone and posted with VR+ Lite.
http://vr.shapeservices.com
Sunday 16 August 2009
Test of VR+ Lite
Monday 22 June 2009
Westminster's Got Talent
I think the honourable members have missed a trick. They've gone and elected John Bercow MP as their speaker. They should have have got Simon Cowell in to advise them on the process and ignored the House of Commons officials. You know, the ones who said it was all right to have the taxpayer pay for their moat to be dredged or their new duck house or the mortgage they've already paid off. They obviously know nothing.
In order to fit in with the zeitgeist, Simon Cowell would have run a much more interactive process from which he - and they - could have made a pile of cash. Anne Widdecombe could have sung a song in an unexpectedly beautiful voice for a start. Margaret Hodge does a very good impersonation of John Culshaw and John Burcow can juggle ferrets. There's not one of them who wouldn't do something daft to gain the approval of the electorate. We could then pick the winner in telephone vote on a Saturday night.
If we got to pick the Speaker he would see to it that the members of Parliament would actually get on wth the job of representing us rather than finding ever more creative ways to justify claiming for a gazebo on expenses.
In order to fit in with the zeitgeist, Simon Cowell would have run a much more interactive process from which he - and they - could have made a pile of cash. Anne Widdecombe could have sung a song in an unexpectedly beautiful voice for a start. Margaret Hodge does a very good impersonation of John Culshaw and John Burcow can juggle ferrets. There's not one of them who wouldn't do something daft to gain the approval of the electorate. We could then pick the winner in telephone vote on a Saturday night.
If we got to pick the Speaker he would see to it that the members of Parliament would actually get on wth the job of representing us rather than finding ever more creative ways to justify claiming for a gazebo on expenses.
Friday 12 June 2009
The Caravan Club and the Demise of Democracy
Amess Takes Bung from Caravanners
I've always thought that caravanners were bent destroying commerce by dragging their ugly, useless boxes behind their cars. I've also always thought that the self-satisfied bastards had it in for me, but that's just paranoia and the medication is helping with what others insist on calling delusions. Not even I ever thought that they would follow in the footsteps of Big Business everywhere and give money to an MP in an attempt to gain access to the Mother of Parliaments.
Just in case there are legal people reading, I should make it plain that David Amess has declared the payments from the Caravan Club in the Register of Members' Interests and that I'm prepared to believe Mr Amess' claim that his failure to declare an interest was an honest oversight.
I still find it very strange that the Caravan Club, of all people, should find it necessary to pay money to Mr Amess for services rendered. It might be that they've found out about my proposal to have caravans banned from the roads during the hours of daylight and for the RAF to be empowered to use any caravans it finds breaking curfew as target practice. I can see why they would find my plans a threat to their member's interests and feel the need to have their concerns raised by an MP. What I don't understand is why they need to pay an MP for his time when presumably they have a member somewhere in Southend West who could have dropped Mr Amess a line for the price of a second class stamp.
There are a number of explanations for this. The first is that the Caravan Club is daft. This is plausible. After all, they think its a good idea to drag a cheaply furnished box on wheels around the country rather than fork out a few quid for a B&B or hotel room. They may not realise that MPs work for us and have to take our concerns as consitituents seriously. I've been trying to get my MP to take my suggestions about caravans and the RAF on board for some time. Maybe I should stick a couple of used fivers in the next envelope and see if that helps.
The Caravan Club contributes to a environment in which it's normal to pay for access to Parliament. It gives the subscriptions of between 14o and 3oo members to Mr Amess in return for a few lunches on the terrace in the House of Commons and questions to ministers reflecting the interests of its members. Even I will admit that the Caravan Club is not a malign influence. Not really. Except when I'm drunk. Then they are the devil incaravanate.
There are others who will pay MPs whose interests are less benign. They want to influence government ministers and while MPs are acting in their interests, they are not necessarily acting in ours. The Caravan Club story is funny. It tickled me at the end of a week which was otherwise quite depressing but it raises a serious point: who are MPs working for? If it's for us, then why are they taking money from anyone else? If it's not for us, then why are we paying them anything at all?
I've always thought that caravanners were bent destroying commerce by dragging their ugly, useless boxes behind their cars. I've also always thought that the self-satisfied bastards had it in for me, but that's just paranoia and the medication is helping with what others insist on calling delusions. Not even I ever thought that they would follow in the footsteps of Big Business everywhere and give money to an MP in an attempt to gain access to the Mother of Parliaments.
Just in case there are legal people reading, I should make it plain that David Amess has declared the payments from the Caravan Club in the Register of Members' Interests and that I'm prepared to believe Mr Amess' claim that his failure to declare an interest was an honest oversight.
I still find it very strange that the Caravan Club, of all people, should find it necessary to pay money to Mr Amess for services rendered. It might be that they've found out about my proposal to have caravans banned from the roads during the hours of daylight and for the RAF to be empowered to use any caravans it finds breaking curfew as target practice. I can see why they would find my plans a threat to their member's interests and feel the need to have their concerns raised by an MP. What I don't understand is why they need to pay an MP for his time when presumably they have a member somewhere in Southend West who could have dropped Mr Amess a line for the price of a second class stamp.
There are a number of explanations for this. The first is that the Caravan Club is daft. This is plausible. After all, they think its a good idea to drag a cheaply furnished box on wheels around the country rather than fork out a few quid for a B&B or hotel room. They may not realise that MPs work for us and have to take our concerns as consitituents seriously. I've been trying to get my MP to take my suggestions about caravans and the RAF on board for some time. Maybe I should stick a couple of used fivers in the next envelope and see if that helps.
The Caravan Club contributes to a environment in which it's normal to pay for access to Parliament. It gives the subscriptions of between 14o and 3oo members to Mr Amess in return for a few lunches on the terrace in the House of Commons and questions to ministers reflecting the interests of its members. Even I will admit that the Caravan Club is not a malign influence. Not really. Except when I'm drunk. Then they are the devil incaravanate.
There are others who will pay MPs whose interests are less benign. They want to influence government ministers and while MPs are acting in their interests, they are not necessarily acting in ours. The Caravan Club story is funny. It tickled me at the end of a week which was otherwise quite depressing but it raises a serious point: who are MPs working for? If it's for us, then why are they taking money from anyone else? If it's not for us, then why are we paying them anything at all?
Friday 1 May 2009
The Four Pigmen of the Aporkalypse
It's seems we are all going to die and it's the fault of some Mexican pigs. Something like that, anyway. I don't know. I haven't really been paying attention this week. I've been on holiday and done the usual holiday things like sitting around in my pants eating ice cream and waiting for the next meal time. I really should have spent some of my valuable time off worrying about swine flu.
Anyway, if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are War, Famine, Pestilence and Death then the Four Pigmen of the Aporkalypse have to be Rumour, Exaggeration, Baseless Worry and Hospitalisation. I heard yesterday (in an IRC chat, so it must be true) that the Government had bought "literally fuck-loads" of those little masks you see Japanese people wearing in photos of people looking like poorly disguised idiots in heavy traffic. I also heard that (in the same well-informed conversation) that thousands of people were sick in America. Of the flu, obviously. This led one young chap (it had to be a chap, this was an IRC chat after all) to lose his cool somewhat. "ZOMFG!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO FREAKING DIE OF FREAKING MEXICAN PIG DISEASE!!!!!!!!! IT'S IN MY TOWN!!!!! IT'S IN MY TOWN!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE.!!!! I'M GOING TO SHOOT ALL THE MEXICAN PIGS!!!!!!!!!!!!" Or something like that. It took us a little while to calm him down, but we did it in the end. We laughed quite a lot, but maybe quite nervously.
The truth is that so far, as long as you're not poor and Mexican, a spell of isolation in hospital and good medical care will see you though if you are unlucky enough to contract this particular flu. You can reduce your chances of contracting the virus by behaving as if you were being visited by a particularly stern aunt. Use a paper hankie when you sneeze and get rid of if quickly. Wash your hands. Keep doorknobs and other hard surfaces clean. Avoid snottery people.
That last measure can be advice for life in general.
Anyway, if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are War, Famine, Pestilence and Death then the Four Pigmen of the Aporkalypse have to be Rumour, Exaggeration, Baseless Worry and Hospitalisation. I heard yesterday (in an IRC chat, so it must be true) that the Government had bought "literally fuck-loads" of those little masks you see Japanese people wearing in photos of people looking like poorly disguised idiots in heavy traffic. I also heard that (in the same well-informed conversation) that thousands of people were sick in America. Of the flu, obviously. This led one young chap (it had to be a chap, this was an IRC chat after all) to lose his cool somewhat. "ZOMFG!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO FREAKING DIE OF FREAKING MEXICAN PIG DISEASE!!!!!!!!! IT'S IN MY TOWN!!!!! IT'S IN MY TOWN!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE.!!!! I'M GOING TO SHOOT ALL THE MEXICAN PIGS!!!!!!!!!!!!" Or something like that. It took us a little while to calm him down, but we did it in the end. We laughed quite a lot, but maybe quite nervously.
The truth is that so far, as long as you're not poor and Mexican, a spell of isolation in hospital and good medical care will see you though if you are unlucky enough to contract this particular flu. You can reduce your chances of contracting the virus by behaving as if you were being visited by a particularly stern aunt. Use a paper hankie when you sneeze and get rid of if quickly. Wash your hands. Keep doorknobs and other hard surfaces clean. Avoid snottery people.
That last measure can be advice for life in general.
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