I was in Sainsbury's today and was asked if I'd like a bag for a magazine and a Mars bar. I might have said yes had I been embarrassed by either the magazine or the Mars bar, but Octane is porn only for petrolheads and I'm secure about my need for cheap chocolate. I was asked of I'd like a bag for much the same stuff in WHSmith a couple of days ago. If people need bags, they'll ask for them.
Thank you.
Friday, 28 November 2008
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
The tyrrany of blank space
And the awful possibility that I can't spell 'tyrrany.' Or possibly 'tyranny.'
I can't. The red, squiggly line appears under two Rs and one N, but one R and two Ns looks wrong even though I know that 'tyrant' is spelled correctly. It's a dreadful social embarrassment in a text-based world. You want to communicate but you can't be sure that what you type is going to be acceptable to the grammar nazis. It's a bit like giving in to a deep need for flatulence-based humour on the first visit to the in-laws.
Anyway, the subject wouldn't have arisen had I not felt the compulsion to write something and then had the first thing I wrote given the red-pen treatment by the Electronic English Teacher of Death.
4/10 - See me later.
The Electronic English Teacher of Death.
I can't. The red, squiggly line appears under two Rs and one N, but one R and two Ns looks wrong even though I know that 'tyrant' is spelled correctly. It's a dreadful social embarrassment in a text-based world. You want to communicate but you can't be sure that what you type is going to be acceptable to the grammar nazis. It's a bit like giving in to a deep need for flatulence-based humour on the first visit to the in-laws.
Anyway, the subject wouldn't have arisen had I not felt the compulsion to write something and then had the first thing I wrote given the red-pen treatment by the Electronic English Teacher of Death.
4/10 - See me later.
The Electronic English Teacher of Death.
Monday, 24 November 2008
So Alistair Darling, a man who looks as if he should be leading Harry Hill's Badger Parade rather than the economy, want to borrow £78 billion this year and £118 billion next year. He's going to pay it back some time and will definitely be heading back to the black in 2015. I think it's possible that some of the people who used to run the banks that were nationalised are now working at HM Treasury and working their unique style of magic there now. God help us all.
We're going to be paying a lower rate of VAT but that won't mean cheaper booze or fags to help us deal with life in Credit Crunched Britain, or cheaper petrol to help us run away. No. Uncle Alistair is going to increase the duty on them to counteract the cuts in VAT on those items. And he's not going to soak the rich. He's not even going to get them slightly damp. He's going to give them a swift wipe down with a lemon-scented towelette while apologising for the inconvenience.
Yvette Cooper wants us all to spend more to do our bit to support the economy. I'd love to support my local Aston Martin dealer. I think I'll go and have a word with my bank manager and tell him I'm not doing it because I want a really nice car, I'm doing it so that the salesman's family won't starve. I intend to pay for it starting in 2015 with my increased earnings once I've had a couple of really big promotions and paid off my mortgage.
We're going to be paying a lower rate of VAT but that won't mean cheaper booze or fags to help us deal with life in Credit Crunched Britain, or cheaper petrol to help us run away. No. Uncle Alistair is going to increase the duty on them to counteract the cuts in VAT on those items. And he's not going to soak the rich. He's not even going to get them slightly damp. He's going to give them a swift wipe down with a lemon-scented towelette while apologising for the inconvenience.
Yvette Cooper wants us all to spend more to do our bit to support the economy. I'd love to support my local Aston Martin dealer. I think I'll go and have a word with my bank manager and tell him I'm not doing it because I want a really nice car, I'm doing it so that the salesman's family won't starve. I intend to pay for it starting in 2015 with my increased earnings once I've had a couple of really big promotions and paid off my mortgage.
Saturday, 22 November 2008
So, I hear you've got a blog
Well, yes. I do have a blog. It's a bit like a pet given to an ungrateful child. Nobody pays attention to it until it comes up the child's humph to inspect it after weeks or months of neglect and there is the empty space where the cage used to be.
"Where's the rabbit?" asks the child, who can't remember the poor creature's name.
"The rabbit's dead," says a harrassed parent, with some bluntness.
"When did it die?"
"Months ago and you didn't notice."
"Oh." The bottom lip is quivering at this point. The child's. The parent is too pissed off to bother with quivery-lipped infants.
"It was always me who had to clean it out and see that it was fed," says the parent. "Don't pretend now that you cared for it at all."
This blog is much like that long-forgotten childhood pet. It comes to mind only when the owner is completely bored or is prompted by someone who asks, "I hear you've got a blog." I have indeed got a blog. It's just not very well.
"Where's the rabbit?" asks the child, who can't remember the poor creature's name.
"The rabbit's dead," says a harrassed parent, with some bluntness.
"When did it die?"
"Months ago and you didn't notice."
"Oh." The bottom lip is quivering at this point. The child's. The parent is too pissed off to bother with quivery-lipped infants.
"It was always me who had to clean it out and see that it was fed," says the parent. "Don't pretend now that you cared for it at all."
This blog is much like that long-forgotten childhood pet. It comes to mind only when the owner is completely bored or is prompted by someone who asks, "I hear you've got a blog." I have indeed got a blog. It's just not very well.
Monday, 4 February 2008
Tuesday, 13 February 2007
Okay, I have a confession to make. I have been busy, but not with real life. I was doing some random surfing and came across an on-line game at www.cybernations.com. It's insane. There are teenagers with nuclear weapons doing tech raids. Really. I'm hooked. I have a small nation called New Gosford and I have taken on the persona of President President. That's what I've been doing for the past two weeks. I haven't read the news, seen my step son, stroked my cat and have barely talked to my wife. Dear gods, what is happening to me?
Monday, 22 January 2007
Bad food
There is a front page story in today's Independent about waste in the food industry. Follow this link for the story http://news.independent.co.uk/environment/article2175016.ece. They are running a campaign to reduce the amount of packaging the food industry uses. It is worthwhile and I urge anyone reading this to join in. I've seen the shrink wrapped turnips myself and it is completely absurd. Turnips are all but indestructable and the shrink wrap is rather difficult to get into. It's completely bizarre. It's also only part of the story when it comes to waste in the food industry.
I think part of the reason for excess packaging is the consumer's deep spiritual need for perfect food. Everything has to look like it's come straight off the front page of a lifestyle cook book. Carrots and courgettes can only be bought if they look fit to nestle in Nigella Lawson's bosom. The big supermarkets have very tight specifications for fruit and vegetables and reject anything which doesn't meet them. It could be that the carrots are slightly mis-shapen, or the apples are too large or too small. It is seldom because the food is spoiled. The rejected consignments are returned to the supplier which is expensive in both cash and food miles terms.
There is also the problem of what we ourselves do with all the food we buy and do not actually consume. Think about what sits in the bottom of your fridge. There's probably at least half a pepper and a bag of washed salad leaves. How long do you keep it before you just chuck it in the bin? And I bet you just go and get some more. Retailers are obliged to dispose of food which has gone past its sell by date. Please follow this link to the Guardian's website for some more on the problem http://environment.guardian.co.uk/waste/story/0,,1985320,00.html.
The article says that Britain disposes of 15 million tons of food every year. 15 million tons. Think about it. It all has to be grown, tended, paid for, transported several times and then it just ends up in landfill. It's immoral.
I think part of the reason for excess packaging is the consumer's deep spiritual need for perfect food. Everything has to look like it's come straight off the front page of a lifestyle cook book. Carrots and courgettes can only be bought if they look fit to nestle in Nigella Lawson's bosom. The big supermarkets have very tight specifications for fruit and vegetables and reject anything which doesn't meet them. It could be that the carrots are slightly mis-shapen, or the apples are too large or too small. It is seldom because the food is spoiled. The rejected consignments are returned to the supplier which is expensive in both cash and food miles terms.
There is also the problem of what we ourselves do with all the food we buy and do not actually consume. Think about what sits in the bottom of your fridge. There's probably at least half a pepper and a bag of washed salad leaves. How long do you keep it before you just chuck it in the bin? And I bet you just go and get some more. Retailers are obliged to dispose of food which has gone past its sell by date. Please follow this link to the Guardian's website for some more on the problem http://environment.guardian.co.uk/waste/story/0,,1985320,00.html.
The article says that Britain disposes of 15 million tons of food every year. 15 million tons. Think about it. It all has to be grown, tended, paid for, transported several times and then it just ends up in landfill. It's immoral.
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